Cry
by ObessedTWFan
Summary: What's the matter never seen a guy cry before? Only in movies. Sandle.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I apologize for not updating my While You Were Away series, its I hate to say it, but I've got writers block when it comes to that one. Shouldnt be too much longer for it though. So in the meantime I've decided to post something that I completed after Fannysmackin, yes I too had caught the fever of that one. And as a little treat it's a Sandle. Enjoy! Sadly dont own anything.

* * *

It wasn't like him to be so unreachable but he just needed… 

He needed to get away.

The wind blew his hair, flying over his still bruised cheeks and he closed his eyes.

Taking in the air that so many people took for granted to him it gave him the relaxation that he so much craved.

It was then that the tears started to fall, not gut wrenching sobs, just silent tears for so many things he couldn't control.

He often wondered if it was the chased that he liked, the chase to become a CSI, to go behind his parents back, to do something for once that they couldn't control. But now that he had it, it wasn't so sure he wanted it anymore.

Saving the life of one, took away another's.

When was it going to be time, where saving someone's life didn't have any consequences to anyone else?

One time.

That's how many times he had let his true feelings show only to be shot down, and since then a bricklayer, metal and so many other materials was around his heart. Guarding it with such a fierce passion that he really did think that he was incapable of ever loving anyone, or anything.

--

She knew something had been troubling him, more than he let on. He wouldn't talk but he would listen, making you bare your soul to him, well he took everything in, never offering a personal experience, offering nothing.

She often wondered what had happened to make him guard his feelings with a force that not one thing could penetrate the walls.

She opened the door quietly not wanting to scare the crap out of him. Nothing special, just gravel, tar soaking up the sun, and fans and vent openings. Nothing breathtaking.

She stood there not sure what to say, afraid that he would crawl back into the shell he had made for himself before she could even find the opening.

The setting sun, washed over his skin, his hair glinting to a softer blond as she watched on knowing that this moment she would treasure because she got to see that side that no one else had.

"Does _he _know you're up here?" he finally said, not making the effort to turning around, afraid that she would see the tears.

"That's what's got you up here?" she came up standing beside him, looking in another direction as him

"Believe me that's the least of my worries" he semi-turned away from her, still not wanting to see him crying, although the tears had stopped they were still there on his cheeks.

It was a few moments before he spoke again, wanting to be alone

"What are you doing here?"

"I care about you" he cocked his head in her direction, glancing at her, his eyes finally meeting hers, and she had to take a step back.

What she saw overwhelmed her.

She saw forever.

She saw the wedding, them holding their baby girl, while a little boy stood off to the side with his dad, watching their son marry. Becoming grandparents.

"What's the matter?" he asked seeing her pale "never seen a man cry before?"

She had never in her lifetime want to take away anyone's pain then his, and knowing that she couldn't killed her inside.

"Only in movies"

"Well take a good look, cause you'll never see it again" he wiped away the wetness and walked away leaving her alone.

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Yes imagine that a two parter. Still dont own anything to do with the show.

* * *

What she had seen hours before in his eyes, had to blindly put it, terrified her.

Her life had flashed before her eyes in his.

It had changed everything.

The answer as to why he had changed.

Reality had caught up with him.

Her heart tore in two for him.

Navigating her car, through the parking lot and into the vistor spot beside his, she killed the engine and sat.

Only now was her reasoning for coming here catching up with her.

Why was she here?

Because she didn't want forever to go to waste.

Pocketing her keys and grabbing the food, she shut her door and walked the few steps it took for her to reach his apartment.

Calling it dark would have been an understatement, he had black out curtains in every window including the kitchenette, you couldn't see your own hand in front of your face, even if you were standing in front of the stereo whose digital neon glow showed the time and nothing more because it wasn't programmed to.

This is how he liked it, dark and foreboding.

Like his life, where he wasn't sure if he was awake or dreaming, coming or going.

It just didn't make sense.

He had nothing to hide, he was in fear for his life, that's why he had pressed the gas instead of putting it in reverse. If he had reversed the guy would be dead, and the guilty feeling would still be hanging over his head, Stanley James instead of Demetrius James, an adult who had seen life over one who's was just beginning. No matter how he looked at it, he was a murder through and through. That was something he didn't think he could ever forgive himself for.

Blinking upon first hearing the knocking, he still didn't know if he was dozing or wide awake, he waited again to make sure he wasn't hearing anything.

"Who is it?" he called from the couch, his voiced sounding strained even to him.

"It's Sara" her voice seemed happy, overly cheery, something foreign to his ears.

When he made no move to answer the door, her smile faded and tried again.

"I brought a piece offering" she called through the door, straining her ears to hear if he was moving.

The door opened revealing him in a shirt and shorts, his sleeping attire she figured.

He did not look impressed as he leaned against the door, arms crossed, looking annoyed. The look sent her told her to explain – now.

"I just wanted to say, if you wanted to talk or anything, I brought some food to eat too"

"I'm not in the mood for either" he shifted his arms

"Ooh okay, well here I'll just give you this for later" she nodded and looked through the bags to grab his food.

"My cell's always on if you"

"I got it" he took the food from her and slammed the door in her face.

Something that pissed her off, yet got her a bit flustered, and bit back the urge to knock on his door again. She should have bit her hand instead because it knocked twice sharply, her anger over taking.

"I told you I don't want to talk" the door flew open

"Do you want everyone to feel sorry for you is that it?" she was angry and it was about time someone told him off

"You don't know what I'm going through"

"No I don't, my life has never been in danger like that, and given the circumstances I would have done the same thing"

"You're a girl Sara, that would be called self defense"

"And what you did wasn't"

"I'm a guy Sara, who killed someone younger than me who I should have been able to take"

"You couldn't have taken the mob"

"They only came back because I hit Demetrius" the tears were threatening to come again, and he stepped away, not twice in one day would she see him.

"You don't know if they would have or not"

"Stop trying to justify what I did, I killed a person, end of story"

"So your going to live in darkness the rest of your life?"

"At least that way I wont have to look at myself in the mirror"

She made a step to place a reassuring hand on cheek, but he stepped back away from her touch.

"Did you loose a bet?"

"Excuse me?"

"Did you loose a bet where you had to try and comfort me?"

"No I actually came here because I was worried about you, it's what friends do"

"Friends don't touch friends like you were going to" he looked up at her, his eyes shockingly crystal clear.

"I don't know what you want from me" he ran his hands through his hair, he didn't know himself.

"You lead me on and wander why I have a crush, when all you ever want is to be friends"

"Before yes"

"And now?"

"I want a lifetime"

"Could you love a murderer?"

"I think I loved you before"


End file.
